When your therapist says you need to feel safe after infidelity

The requirement for safety is one of the fundamental necessities of human beings. Even if we are unaware of it, we are constantly evaluating individuals, locations, and circumstances to assess our safety status.

Partners of individuals struggling with sex addiction during the initial stages of discovery and disclosure often feel lost and helpless. Everything they believed to be true about their partner and their relationship has been shattered, and they are left with no safe haven to turn to. The person they once relied on for comfort and support has now become the source of immense emotional distress.

Adding to the feeling of betrayal and loneliness, partners often hesitate to confide in their family and friends about their predicament. They may opt to keep their anguish to themselves, fearing judgment from others, blaming themselves for their partner's sex addiction, or shielding themselves from unwanted and hurtful advice. They may also be concerned about the financial or other severe repercussions of disclosing their partner's addiction.

Partners can create a safe haven for themselves in the midst of turmoil and trauma by taking the following steps:

1. Seek professional help: It is essential to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor specializing in sex addiction and trauma. They can provide a safe and non-judgmental space to process emotions and develop coping strategies.

2. Join a support group: Joining a support group for partners of sex addicts can provide a sense of community and validation. It can also offer practical advice and support from others who have gone through similar experiences.

3. Practice self-care: Prioritizing self-care during this difficult time is crucial. This can include exercise, meditation, journaling, or spending time with supportive friends and family.

4. Set boundaries: Partners must set clear boundaries with their sex addict partner to protect themselves from further harm. This may include limiting contact or seeking temporary separation.

5. Educate themselves: Partners can educate themselves about sex addiction and trauma to better understand their situation. This can help them make informed decisions and communicate their needs effectively.

By taking these steps, partners can create safety for themselves and begin to heal from the trauma of their partner's sex addiction.